This was originally a series of posts on blue sky here.

I had a follow up question to a previous post about 1:1s. Someone asked me how I run them. In my opinion the keys to running a good 1:1 are:

• be intentional
• be consistent

I structure 1:1s this way: For junior engineers I have them every week. For seniors, every other week. For skip levels (people who report to people who report to me) every 4 weeks.

I time limit these meetings to 30 minutes. Any more and we tend to get off topic.

I tell everyone in advance that these are the questions I’m going to ask each time:

• What is on your mind these days, either work or life related?
• What are you currently working on and. do you have any roadblocks?
• Why does it matter? How does it fit into the bigger picture?

The purpose of the first question is to identify how they are doing and what is going on. Often people have some one thing that is taking up most of their time, thoughts, or energy. Sometimes it’s work. Sometimes it’s life. I want to make sure I know HOW they are doing before I dive into WHAT.

Always ask follow up questions about this. People frequently need to be given the space to answer. Give them an invitation to be open with you about what is going on with them.

Do this for people you do like and do this for people you do not like. Take self out of the picture.

The purpose of the second point is NOT a status update. There are other meetings for that, where the whole team can get the updates. Usually, status of the work comes up, but it’s not the focus. The point of the question is to make sure you and them know at a high level what they are doing.

I ask why it matters to make sure THEY know why they’re doing what they’re doing. I find that people who know the why will perform better and advance faster than those who put on blinders and just do the tasking assigned to them.

If someone cannot come up with a good answer to why they are working on what they are doing, then sometimes I can fill in the blanks. If neither of us can, then it’s time to ask ourselves if that person is working on the right problem.

Everything we do should be directed to some end goal. Now, sometimes we have to make the doughnuts. Sometimes there is busy work that has to be done to fill a contractual requirement or company policy.

This is a good time as a manager to question those decisions if we’re it w/o reason.

Aside: If you want to be a LEADER and not just a manager, it means being willing to speak up for your people. This is one of those moments where you can identify when your people are having their time wasted. Often they can do nothing, but maybe you can.

When I run skip level meetings, I add in an additional question of “how is it going with <manager’s name>”. The purpose of this is to make sure I have a sense of how things are going within my organization. I listen very attentively to this question.

All of this – the questions I ask and my reasoning behind them – I make explicit at my first meeting with any new direct report. Many people struggle with uncertainty. By setting a clear agenda and expectations, I can remove that uncertainty and get us faster to a productive exchange.

I really see 1:1s as serving both of us. For me, it lets me check in on how things are going for this person. For them, I hope it gives them a path to get rapid feedback and an opportunity to feed up concerns.

I know most of this post is directed at managers. I think if you’re in the position of being a direct report, you can influence the conversation as well. You can bring your own agenda and tell your manager “these are the things I’d like to talk about.”

My format and my agenda doesn’t match everyone’s needs. I’d recommend grabbing it, making some adjustments to fit your needs, and giving it a try. This is one area that I’ve gotten a lot of specific and positive feedback about.