The notion of asking for a demotion is counter to American work culture. We’re told to always be looking to move up the ladder, so to speak. At least, that’s what my generation was raised to look for.
Twice in my career I’ve asked to be demoted. I haven’t gotten people looking for advice on this, but it’s also something I don’t see talked about often. I’ll throw out a bit of my experience and the decision making process. I hope it’s helpful to someone.
About twice a month, I’ll get someone coming to me to ask for career advice. I’m starting to collect the more common questions and my thoughts on them. I’m putting these together as a series of blog posts under the tag CareerPlusPlus.
Why would I do this?
I was unhappy.
I had been promoted into a position where I spent about 60% of my time doing managerial work and 40% of my time doing technical contribution. As time went on the management work grew to about 80% of my time. Personally, my joy is in writing code. I love solving technical challenges. As the projects I was working on grew and my team size grew, I had to spend more time on the management in order to keep everything moving smoothly.
Part of the friction was that my projects were going really, really well. I was getting accolades for the work the team was doing, and my pay increased nicely. Yet as I was getting the trappings of success, my happiness with my day to day life was decreasing.
Things I considered
It’s not comprehensive, but here are some of the things I thought about before talking to my manager. I also shared these with my wife. She’s also my best friend, so I gave her feedback a lot of consideration before I made any rash decisions.
Advice: Share your thoughts with someone and listen to their feedback. Also, sleep on it.
- What would I be willing to give up to go back to doing the kind of day to day work I enjoy?
- Am I okay taking a pay cut? If so, how much? I came up with a specific number.
- Am I okay with losing the prestige? Can my ego handle that?
- Would I be willing to work for someone who is currently my subordinate? What if I don’t get to choose who that is?
- Would it really work? Or would I just change job titles but essentially everyone would expect the same things from me?
- This really depends on your work environment. I’ve worked one place where it would absolutely work and one where it wouldn’t. I don’t have real advice here other than to try to figure it out for where you are.
- If they say no, am I willing to leave? Am I willing to stay?
- If you have the conversation where you ask for a demotion, you need to consider how to handle them saying no.
- It’s a real possibility. Just as it’s uncommon for people to ask for a demotion, it’s uncommon for management to hear the request. They often don’t know how to handle it.
Having the conversation
Be frank.
Be direct.
Be honest.
Here’s how my conversations went. I started by telling them I was unhappy in the role I was in and what I wished my role was. I asked pointedly what it would take for me to move down into a different role. I hinted that I would be willing to take a pay cut. I think my word were along the lines of “I understand that might mean moving into a different pay band, so I just want to know what the impacts of that would be.”
Both times they tried to talk me out of it. Both times I stuck to my request.
This was also an opportunity to learn about the true measure of one of my managers. He recently retired, but I’ll never forget working for him. “Well, I don’t want to do this. It’s going to hurt our projects and make my life more difficult. But if it is what will make you happy, I’ll do everything I can to make it happen.” He followed through with that. I didn’t even take a pay cut.
Closing thoughts
If you’re reading this because it’s something you’re actually considering doing, you’ve probably already moved past the question of whether it’s something you really want. You probably already know.
This is a tricky road to walk. It will be an uncomfortable conversation. In my experience, I’ve never regretted having had an uncomfortable conversation. I have regretted those I didn’t have or waited too long to have.
“To thine own self be true” -Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3